Open Studios this past Saturday night was an unexpected gift. I say unexpected, because I was supposed to be on a retreat this past weekend but a series of unfortunate events interrupted those plans. So though I had planned to get away this weekend to Camp Allen & not show up to Open Studios Saturday, some decisions made months ago made it impossible for me to leave.
I'm not going to lie. Thursday I was pretty bent, discouraged & drained. All I wanted to do pull up netflix and wrap up in the bed all weekend. The struggle is real every now and then. Like an artist I follow on instagram captioned a week ago, "this journey is not as easy as it seems in all the pretty pictures posted to social media." There are days when you doubt, fear speaks louder than creativity and you just can't seem to find your way.
The key is not to allow those days to have the last say; you muster up all of the courage, support and hope you need to keep showing up to your craft... keep showing up to life. Before I decided to resign from my job and embark upon this unknown path of being a creative entrepreneur, I created a "Survivor's List." I wrote down 7 things I would do to survive the days that could have the power of making you quit if you let them. I pulled on 4 of the 7 last week and honestly, they were game changers. My situation did not change, but I did and I decided if I was going to be in Houston this weekend I needed to continue to show up and fight for the life I want.
So Saturday night I was at Hardy & Nance Studios for our monthly Open Studios, even though I did not feel like it and was a bit distracted by life as I settled at my desk to work. But I showed up and I am so glad that I did because I got to....
connect with friends whom I love,
sip on a delicious Tout Suite chai latte (YUM!) gifted to me by my friend,
run the studio halls with Zion (one of the coolest 4 year olds I know!),
meet some lovely new people whom I will see again,
sell a few art works,
as well as add some more layers to my first #100ArtWorksChallenge piece (100 Stories of Her).
Needless to say it all was a perfect recipe for a great night at the studio.
Not all nights or days living in the studio are going to be great, externally affirming or even without some real drama going on outside of the studio. It's just how life goes. The struggle... the fight is real.
The gifts are just as real too-- when you keep going and doing what you know you were born to do.
Studio life is teaching me more & more, every single, day that a major part of my work as a creative entrepreneur is showing up. This work requires staying focused on the path that I'm being drawn towards & surrender fully to every imperfect, at times lonely, messy, stretching, life-giving & beautiful second of it. See I am just foolish enough to believe that if we do that... if we can show up and live authentically from our core... we will get to where you are wanting to go & so much further.
"When what you see in front of you is so far outside of what you dreamed, but you have the belief, the boldness, the courage to call it beautiful instead of calling it wrong, that’s celebrating."
“Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery it is. In the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”
― Frederick Buechner, Now and Then: A Memoir of Vocation
July 7-19. I had the pleasure of serving as an artist-in-residence at the Texas Youth Academy (TYA) of the United Methodist Church. TYA is a two-week summer program for selected high school students to live in intentional Christian community with adult mentors, artists and leaders on the campus of Southwestern University. For two-weeks we shared life together, days patterned by the sacred practices of our faith with the intent of growing in love and understanding of God.
Each morning began with morning prayer in the chapel before heading to breakfast. Every evening we worshiped together and shared in the Great Thanksgiving/Communion. In between we delighted in table fellowship, recreation (lots of frisbee), theology lectures by professors & teachers from around the country, rest, service, silence, creativity, holy conversation, story sharing and so much more.
TYA was modeled after the Duke Youth Academyn(DYA), which I had the privilege of serving as a mentor for in 2008 and 2009. I was delighted when I was invited to TYA as an artist-in-residence, because I remember at DYA being intrigued by and deeply drawn to the artist role... wanting to embrace my identity as artist/creative, but fearful of it and insecure about it at the same time.
Without a doubt, I had a great time being apart of this community again this year. I led 5 Mixed Media/Encaustic workshops, collaborated on an experience of workshop-through-art (I invited people to help create a community graffiti prayer wall... loved it!), shared some insights about being a good neighbor to those are experiencing homelessness and gave part of the lecture on New Creation.
Loved every part of it, especially the drive along 290 (hence the horse, cow and sunflower photographs) and cultivating space for everyone to tap into their creativity through an art practice that has meant so much to me on my journey with God the past few months.
It was a time of being still, listening, healing, delighting, crying, tending, remembering, affirming, resting and claiming... it was good.
I even got an opportunity to go to "Hope Outdoor Gallery" on Castle Hill in Austin, Texas, to view the graffiti art there and even paint some words onto the wall myself. I included some photos below, but will blog more and share more later. That time, as well, was very good.
While at TYA I was introduced to Bless the Space Between Us by John O'Donohue. It has been my daily companion. I prayed these words through tears the first time I read his "A Morning Offering," and I continue to pray them still today...
... May my mind come alive today
to the invisible geography
that invites me to new frontiers,
to break the dead shell of yesterdays,
to risk being disturbed and changed.
May I have the courage today
to live the life that I would love,
to postpone my dream no longer
but do at last what I came here for
and waste my heart on fear no more.
Lanecia A. Rouse Tinsley